Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
