You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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