Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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