that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
