maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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