the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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