So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
