Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
