Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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