What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Never underestimate the power of titties
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