Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
