Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
