thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
