Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
