The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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