...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
