The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
did i just pee glitter
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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