My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
