OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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