I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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