i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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