I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
