We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
