If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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