margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
