It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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