Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize