Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
