Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
