Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
