Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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