Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
