I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
