just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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