On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
