dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Are these your boobs on my camera?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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