i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have already put on my inside pants.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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