They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
