I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize