im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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