I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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