She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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