If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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