dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
