community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
