If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
