I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
