I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize