hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
