I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
