How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
