And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
