Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
